Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Mondays at Midday

This is the first posting on my newly changed Sacred Footing blog. I have given Sacred Footing a new direction as described in the title section. I wrote a few lines to get her started . . . to give her the first breath of life . . . to get her blood pumping. I've waved the magic wand . . . I've invoked the goddess . . . I will write her story, my story your story. We are all in this together. (Now I must cook dinner and clean the house like a good woman.)

Did I age ten years in one night? I've heard it said (in humor) that it takes ten years to become accustomed to one's age . . . and by then . . . another ten have passed.
Maybe it's the time of year - Autumn - the ending of summer and the beginning of the end of the annual cycle of seasons. Maybe it's all me and my mid-life madness. Maybe it's the fullness of the moon. (Maybe I can find someone to blame it all on.) But, whatever, whoever . . . I feel older today . . . but not any wiser. Maybe if I put some makeup on, dressed up in a cute outfit and danced around the house to some upbeat music I could fool myself into thinking I am gorgeous today! But, I'll probably stay in my sweats (the ones that make me look ten pounds bigger), keep my hair in the messy ponytail and leave my face to its natural, pale skin . . . and I'll simply accept that I'm having a yucky day. So what.
Tomorrow is another day in my roller coaster ride through my forties. Tomorrow might show me an awesome panoramic view. But for today . . . I'll do what I have to do to muddle through.

Potions, Lotions and Magic Charms:
For today - water, water, and more water . . . I don't drink enough. (Even though these past few days have been hot and humid) I feel the dryness of the cooler weather approaching - the changing of the seasons (and my seasons) and the waxing of the moon into her fullness . . . pulling at me - stirring something up inside of me. Drink it up, wash it out, soak it up, clean it out.

This is what I now know:
For me, one of the scariest places on Earth has always been that which lives just below the surface of a smile. Coming from an alcoholic home (and this is not a pity statement, a sob story or a unique dysfunctional family memory - it is a simple fact) I learned to never trust a smile or a laugh, for moods can change in a heartbeat. It took me years to understand why I would "freak out" inside and have feelings of unexplainable paranoia whenever someone's words did not exactly match his or her body and facial language.

He said/ She said:
A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful. ~Karl Kraus